Excuse my absence. I don’t know what I’ve been doing. Oh yes I do! Potty training Kitty. I won’t go into it, but there’s been a lot of washing, scrubbing, mopping etc. I’m like Hercules trying to clean the Aegean stables!! Only I am better at accessorising. I like to team skinny black jeans and my new Adelphe diamond-slice ring with eau de toddlerpiss.
But look it’s nearly Christmas and though I loathe Christmas recipe pull-outs at this time of year – so confusing, so distracting – I thought I would recycle this cake that I made for my Grazia column (she said casually) and show it to you here, in case you don’t read Grazia and you’re looking for a mildly spiced cake to serve at some party or other.
And say Merry Christmas to you all! But, especially, to a girl called Petra I once knew a long time ago. A friend of a friend. I bumped into her husband the other day at a party, who I never recognise because he keeps changing his spectacles. At the moment he is wearing some intimidating horn-rimmed pair. “Petra reads your blog,” he said. “I’m sorry I don’t, I…” he floundered. It’s alright, I said. You’re not my demographic.
Anyway Petra is absolutely terrific, but she wasn’t at the party because she was working! At Christmas!! But I think she is a lawyer and so just works and occasionally, blinking at the daylight, leaves her office to eat a sandwich and breathe some non-recycled air.
(My favourite story about lawyers, by the way, was when I emailed my friend Jamie, who is a commercial barrister, on a sunny Bank Holiday Sunday about something – I wanted to email while I remembered what it was – and I joked “As it’s a sunny Bank Holiday Sunday Jamie, I expected a swift response as you will, obviously, be at work.” And he fucking was!)
The thing I remember most about Petra was at a dinner party I said I liked her necklace, some really beautiful magnificent choker-y thing with all manner of swizzles and sparkles on it. “It was my grandmother’s,” she said. “There’s an extra bit you can fit on it,” she said, describing a hook and eye in the air with her hands, “that makes it even bigger.”I just stared at her, boggling at the poshness of it all – I thought she was going to say she got it at Accessorize.
And while you’re at it make this cake why don’t you.
This is a very classy cake because of the addition of cardamom, that most people are too scared to use in sweet baking because they don’t want a cake that tastes like curry. But it doesn’t taste like curry, it’s very nice. It’s like something they would make on Bake Off.
But it is absolutely huge, so only make this if you have a lot of people coming round.
Pear and Cardamom cake from The Ethicurean cookbook
Serves about 20, genuinely
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